Here we go again. Just when you thought your wallet had a moment to breathe, Xcel Energy pulls another fast one. November 21st rolls around, and boom – they slap the Colorado Public Utilities Commission with a proposal for a nearly 10% hike on electricity rates. Ten percent! That's not chump change, folks. That's $355.6 million to $356 million in "additional base rate revenue" they're looking to vacuum out of your pockets.
If this goes through, your average residential electricity bill, already a pain in the ass, jumps from a hundred bucks to over $110 a month. Small businesses? They're looking at a 9.5% bump. Big industrial players? They get hit too, 7% to 9.3%. It’s a classic Xcel move, offcourse. They want more, and they’ll find a way to get it, usually by telling us it’s for our own good.
The Same Old Song and Dance
Xcel Energy, Colorado’s biggest electricity provider, serving 1.6 million customers, is singing the same old tune: "We're investing! We're upgrading! Clean energy! Climate change!" Robert Kenney, the big cheese at Xcel Energy Colorado, even had the gall to say these investments align with "state policy priorities" and "customer needs." Give me a break. Are we truly supposed to believe they're doing this out of the goodness of their corporate hearts?
Joseph Pereira, from the Colorado Office of the Utility Consumer Advocate (UCA), ain't buying it either. He called the proposed increase a "surprise" and "troubling," but let's be real, it's about as surprising as the sun rising. Pereira pointed out the "routine" trend of massive increases and nailed it: these rate cases are largely driven by Xcel's corporate returns and dividends. He even called their infrastructure spending "unchecked and likely not the most efficient." Bingo.
Think of it like this: Xcel is your landlord. They keep jacking up the rent, year after year, claiming they're making "necessary upgrades" to the building. You don't see new granite countertops in your apartment, but you see the landlord driving a fancier car. Meanwhile, they're boasting about a five-year, $5 billion plan to overhaul the network—replacing wooden poles, adding substations, all that jazz. They've already spent nearly $300 million on distribution system upgrades since 2022. But are we really getting our money's worth, or are they just digging bigger holes to fill with our cash? They say it's about progress. No, scratch that. It's about profit, plain and simple. Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here for expecting a utility to prioritize us over their bottom line.
The 'Affordability' Charade and the PUC's Weak Hand
And then there's the "assistance program." Oh, how generous! Xcel is expanding its electric and gas assistance programs, pledging $5 million in corporate funds for electric assistance. But wait, there’s a catch – they propose doubling the energy assistance charge on other customers' bills to about $2 to fund these programs. So, they'll take an extra $10 from your Xcel Energy bill, then give $2 back to some "income-qualified" seniors. It's like they're picking your pocket and then offering you a band-aid for the cut they just made. What a scam. They're aiming to double the number of participating households and offer up to $20 monthly credits. That's nice, I guess, if you can jump through all their hoops, but it doesn't solve the fundamental problem: the rates keep going up for everyone else.
Even the state regulators, God bless 'em, are starting to sound a little worried. PUC Chairperson Eric Blank said customers care about their current and future bills, not national averages, and expressed concern that the state is "fundamentally not on track to maintain affordability." He even suggested the PUC "may need to explore ways to manage capital spending and rate impact." May need to explore? This ain't their first rodeo, folks. They talk about "managing capital spending" like it's some new revelation, and honestly...
Commissioner Megan Gilman chimed in too, saying system upgrades are necessary, but they "must be optimized." Optimized? Yeah, I'd say. Especially when Blank's analysis suggests Xcel's planned $22 billion investment over the next five years could lead to rates rising as much as 72% by 2029. And get this: Xcel's Colorado earnings could jump from $700 million in 2020 to a whopping $1.6 billion. There's your "affordability" right there. Speaking of things that need managing, has anyone else noticed how my cell phone bill just keeps creeping up too? It's like they all got the same playbook.
The UCA is urging concerned customers to participate in the PUC review process. You can submit comments online, via email, mail, or phone. They even give you the proceeding number: 25AL -0494E. Like that's gonna move the needle much.
The Game Is Rigged, Folks
Let's be brutally honest. This isn't just an Xcel Energy Colorado problem; it's a national epidemic. Electricity rates are soaring, rising twice as fast as inflation since 2022. One in six families are behind on utility bills. This isn't some niche issue; it was a major factor in recent governors' races in New Jersey and Virginia. Xcel's request is just one of 57 sought by utilities nationwide this year. Everyone's doing it.
Why? They'll tell you it's about updating the power grid, transitioning from coal (like Xcel's Comanche Generating Station) to renewables, volatile natural gas prices, wildfire costs, and even increasing demand from data centers. All legitimate problems, I suppose. But here's the kicker, the dirty little secret: Xcel Energy, like most utilities, makes the bulk of its money by building infrastructure and adding it to its rate base. That boosts charges to customers. It’s a perpetual money machine, a self-licking ice cream cone, funded by your monthly Xcel Energy bill.
So, when does this merry-go-round stop? Or does it just keep spinning faster until we all get thrown off? Don't hold your breath waiting for Xcel Energy customer service to tell you.